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A 4 panel black, white, and grey comic featuring a professor giving a presentation to his peers. Panel 1. The professor is standing beside a slide that reads "A Peer Reviewed Analysis of Santa". Professor: For over a century we have assumed that Santa rewards goodness. But the data proves this patently false. Panel 2. The slide has switched to a graph showing that number of presents received increases with wealth. Professor: Across all age groups, we see that Santa rewards wealth. "Goodness" is barely a rounding error. Panel 3. We now see the professor viewed in a snow globe. Professor: In fact, we see this pattern repeat across all morality. Moral actions can attract modest pro-social benefits. But the greatest rewards go to rich ass holes who eagerly burn orphans for fuel. Panel 4. We pull back to see Santa on a festive throne, surrounded by treasure, angrily gesturing at the snow globe. An elf stands beside him examining a piece of paper. Santa: Randall, add that researcher to the "Naughty" list. Elf: He works in academia sir. He's already there.
A 4 panel black, white, and grey comic featuring a professor giving a presentation to his peers. Panel 1. The professor is standing beside a slide that reads "A Peer Reviewed Analysis of Santa". Professor: For over a century we have assumed that Santa rewards goodness. But the data proves this patently false. Panel 2. The slide has switched to a graph showing that number of presents received increases with wealth. Professor: Across all age groups, we see that Santa rewards wealth. "Goodness" is barely a rounding error. Panel 3. We now see the professor viewed in a snow globe. Professor: In fact, we see this pattern repeat across all morality. Moral actions can attract modest pro-social benefits. But the greatest rewards go to rich ass holes who eagerly burn orphans for fuel. Panel 4. We pull back to see Santa on a festive throne, surrounded by treasure, angrily gesturing at the snow globe. An elf stands beside him examining a piece of paper. Santa: Randall, add that researcher to the "Naughty" list. Elf: He works in academia sir. He's already there. Panel 2 Panel 3 Panel 4
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A single die.
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December 18, 2024
35 - A Peer Reviewed Analysis of Santa